Doing stuff I don't want to - yep it's back to work...

 Hmm, it looks like today's post might be morbid and self-pitying with perhaps a smidgen of ranting.

Anyone not interested in my bile-filled discourse on School systems and the evils of Management approach to education, please skip to the bottom of the post. I'll put in a joke or something nice, I just cannot think of one yet. Must get the bile out of my system first.

I never enjoy returning to school and starting a new term. I get used to the relaxed pace of holidays and find the transition back to being exhausted really difficult. However, having said that part of me does get a little enthusiastic and optimistic about all the things I'll do well (or at least better) in the following term.

It is does not take long for this optimistic attitude to die. In only two days my enthusiasm for my classes and the new units we are starting have been snuffed out like a hedgehog meandering in a daze across a road in Eketahuna.

Our illustrious Principal decided to start the week with an inspiring Monday morning speech about how the school's grades were dropping, especially with regard to Literacy credits, and read out a string of depressing statistics. The HOD of English was particulary miffed because the stats were somewhat misleading - the standards for certain Literacy standards changed between years and courses changed and so year by year comparisons weren't exactly representative. He also went on to blather on about how disgraceful Uniform standards were at the end of last term and how things had to be picked up this term. He finished up with some statement about the 'untapped potential' of students and how we should 'inspire them with our passion for our subjects' which didn't ring so true after the lecture on Uniforms.

Personally I just do not care about uniforms. Older teachers and management seem disproportionately concerned with uniform down to the smallest detail like regulation socks. I follow the rules insofar as I feel I have to - it is my job to make sure that students follow the rules, so I make sure my form class and students are basically wearing the correct uniform and are not too scruffy but I don't think I could spot non-regulation black socks. I just do not care enough to be able to tell the difference.

There was another before school meeting today grouped by Year groups in which form teachers were again told to monitor uniforms. They photocopied off pictures of the correct uniform and went over the exact details. Apparently non-regulation socks can be grouped into several categories of 'incorrectness'. They are as follows:

1. Colour - in previous years it was black socks only for boys but white or black socks for girls. It has been changed now so that girls may only have black socks. White socks are being 'phased out'. Female students who started college before 2004 may still wear white socks. If they started after 2004, then there is no excuse for white socks.

2. Length - Socks are to be knee length for both boys and girls (unless the girls started before 2004 and have the old ankle high white socks. White socks cannot be knee high). Girls may also wear full length pantyhose but only if they are compliant with the 'opacity' (3). Stockings which come over the knee but then stop mid-thigh are definitely prohibited.

3. Opacity - If girls are wearing stockings, they must be opaque. No sheerness is allowed. The exact denier figure was unclear but we were told if you could make out skin beneath the fabric, it was no good.

There were further instructions as to jewelry restrictions and not wearing t-shirts underneath the uniform but my brain started to wander elsewhere during these.

It was a particularly dull and depressing start to the day. I feel vaguely guilty that I don't care but I don't. I don't really care if students wear polyprops under their tops - it's cold. I don't care if their jacket is non-regulation.

There are some times when I feel like my mindset is too close to a student's and I am not teacher-like enough.

Of course then I wander off to class and soon come to realise that some students are irrational alien beings and I'm morely likely to have a meaningful conversation with the rubbish bin than the average Year 10.

I just don't get them. Well, some of them anyway.

For example two of my Year 11 students. They are lazy. They did not complete their assignments last term (only did about half of the work required). They did not pass the assignment. They act surprised. I explain that their work was of an acceptable standard but that they did not do all of it. If you don't finish an assignment, you can't pass the assignment.

They immediately started whinging about it being too hard and that they couldn't read. They started claiming they wanted to move to the alternate English class. I explained that you had to finish assignments in the alternate English class too. They got angry and stormed off to the deans demanding to be shifted into the alternate English class. Now I have to waste some of my time after school having a meeting with the dean about whether they should move into an alternate English class. Very sucky. I kind of don't mind if they leave my class because they are annoying but really I have to say that they shouldn't leave because they are capable of passing a regular English course.

My year 12 class was pretty morale crushing too. They got their Formal Writing results back and about 80% of the class passed (which is pretty good for the first attempt). One girl complained bitterly though, inspite of having passed, because she found a spelling mistake circled in the final copy that I hadn't circled in the second draft.

"How was I supposed to know that it wasn't spelt correctly when you didn't mark it in the second draft," she whinged.

"Sorry, I must have missed it in the second draft," I admitted because I should have picked it up. "It doesn't affect your grade anyway."

"But that's not the point. You're an English teacher, you should have seen it," she mumbled huffily. "If I hadn't passed, I'd complain and appeal the mark."

At this point my mind played an amusing scene of my forcibly silencing the little brat by shoving the essay down her throat and explaining it is hard to notice all the spelling mistakes when she writes likes a drunken monkey and I had done about 2 hours of solid marking trying to get all the drafts marked in one night for the next day's assessment.

One of these days my tolerance will run out and I shall explode in a torrent of rage on one of these bratty, obnoxious students. I shall beat them about the head, possibly with one of their non-regulation socks, and tell them just how annoying they are.

Right, a funny joke or similar I believe was promised. Hmmm. Tricky...

Well, I can't think of my own, so I resort to one of my favourite puns from the Pun Of the Day website.

The history of cheese is full of holes, but it's interesting in its own whey.