In case people do not realise how icky real students are...

 I did not see Seven Periods with Mr Gormsby (or however it is spelt) last Friday as I went to see Kingdom of Heaven. I do not regret missing it from the reviews I have heard. There was some discussion around the classroom of how the writers have clearly not been anywhere near a NZ high school in the last 4 decades or so and have no idea what modern NZ teenagers are really like. Apparently the really BAD students drew unseemly pictures on the whiteboard in the show. Seems pretty tame to me.

I thought I would list just a few of the grotty behaviours of real NZ high school students. Remeber that my school is decile 8 (10 being the highest decile - meaning that socioeconomic factors of the area mean that the students should not in theory be as 'difficult' as others in a lower decile). I should also state that the majority of students are nice, decent human beings who might sometimes do low key 'naughty' things like talk in class and forget their homework, but nothing I deem shocking or antisocial.

Disturbing incidents of a icky nature (from today):

1. A year 9 student reported that someone had defecated (although he used less polite language to describe it) all over the seat of one of the toilets. Apparently this was true, I personally did not check it out but a teacher said it was. It seems the pooper in question must have gone to a reasonable a amount of effort. The entire turd was , it seems, carefully spread across what was a disturbing large amount of the seat. I puzzled for a while at how it might have been achieved (seems jolly awkward to me) but then became too grossed out and had to stop thinking about it.

2. A fight broke out near C block at lunchtime when one student tried to forcibly shove a piece of rotten rubbish down another student's throat. Possibly they were a little too enthusiastic over the school's new anti-rubbish programme.

3. During Period 2 rubbish collection (we now have clean-up spots assigned to each classroom for 5 minute rubbish collection during Periods 2 and 4) several students from rival classes decided to start a litter fight by flinging decaying and stinky rubbish at one another resulting in some dirt, stinky uniforms.

I could also go into the nastiness of bullying, drug problems, fighting (kids with broken noses, arms, and one kid pushed through a safety glass window ending up with over 20 stitches), verbal abuse, vandalism and arson that we have had happen this year.

I guess I did not fully realise how bad things were until I started teaching (I was quite surprised when the police showed up with a sniffer dog to find the students with drugs at school and when a students set fire to the B block toilets because they got angry in class), but it kind of annoys me that they portray students as 'little rascals' level naughty.

I do not think we are quite at the '21 Jump Street' level where we need undercover cops at schools (althought that would be pretty cool - maybe we do. Some of the Year 10s look entirely too large), but it is not exactly Enid Blyton like either.

"Oh bother, Fanny*. I seemed to have left my essay at home! Gosh, what will the teacher say."

"Gosh Dick, you are frightfully forgetful. I shall have to tell on you of course, and won't you be in a jolly lot of trouble."

"Yes, I expect I might be in a bit of hot water but if I don't own up, I'll jolly well only make it worse for myself!"

* Note: in a modern NZ high school any student named Fanny would have either changed her name or left due to a nervous breakdown.