Tale as old as time

I went and saw the stage show of Beauty and the Beast last night after consuming a large and satisfying Turkish meal (why do I always plan to be adventurous and try something new and then at the last minute go for the tried and true chicken eskendar?). Dinner was fun and filled with much Kapcon-fuelled enthusiastic banter with Matt, L and S. Overall, I would say I liked B & B rather than loved it. Partly I suspect it is because I adore the Disney cartoon so much and so many of the really funny or cute scenes could not be recreated (or weren't attempted) on the stage. Obviously, the inventor's horse couldn't easily be on the stage but I was still disappointed not to have the fantastic moment when he is considering the options of which path to take through the woods - the dark, creepy one that leads to the Beast's castle or the safe-looking and well-lit path. Obviously, the oblivious human insists on taking the dangerous path but the horse's expression at human craziness brilliantly captures equine attitudes towards being forced to do something scary "You want me to go THERE?! Why? Can't you see it's SCARY?!" Rather like Tango's expression when he is expected is go on a horse float. "What the…?! You want me to go in that dark box thing?! The wobbly stable? I don't think so. I'll walk thanks. Just give me directions, I'll meet you there. Don't really need transport. I'm rather good at walking myself, being a HORSE!!! Seriously, I don't need someone to carry my big butt all over the place unlike some people I could mention! . Sorry, that was personal. I didn't mean it. I'll walk, no wait, I'll gallop there. It'll be faster, I promise. Just don't make me go in the dark, wobbly box thing!!! ARRRGGHHH!" Or at least that is the inner monologue his expressions and snorting seem to suggest. Back to the Beauty and the Beast. Gaston was awesome and by far my favourite, although Lumiere was also very cool. They had added songs (none of which were as likeable as the original ones) and some lines of unnecessary dialogue. So a 90 minute movie became a 2 and 1/2 hour stage show without really adding much to either the characters or story. We did have a very cute little girl sitting near us. She was all dressed up in her princess outfit and was obviously a big fan of the movie. She will, I suspect, pursue a lucrative career as a critic in the future judging by her commentary during the show. She had the art of harsh but not inaccurate criticism ("But she's fat!" - when Belle first appeared on stage) and plot spoilers ("He's not really dead!" - the climatic scene when the Beast has been stabbed after fighting with Gaston). Some aspects that disappointed me were the lack of charm or romantic chemistry between the leads. Belle's voice sounded pre-recorded and I wouldn't be surprised to learn that she was an animatronic Belle that had been stolen from a Disneyland ride as she moved really stiffly and unnaturally. The Beast actor and make-up was good but I guess they can't make anyone as loveable and cute as the cartoon character. I was wanting to see the scene where they give The Beast a makeover before his big date with Belle and they didn't put him in curlers or anything. They just changed his jacket. And that's one of the funniest scenes in the movie!!! Also there were no wolves actually attacking Belle when he went out to rescue her in the woods. He flailed around a lot and then fell over but there were no wolves there - not even a chorus member in a grey leotard. Matt's theory is that he was performing a modern interpretative dance of the economic and political fluctuations in Germany in the early 20th century. Thus when Belle thanks him for saving her it was a metaphoric saving from her uncultured, provincial upbringing in which she had never been exposed to interpretive dance. The cuts on his hand that he also had in the following scene were due to scraping himself about some sharp branches when thrashing around to represent Hitler's dramatic rise to power. There were, however, some fantastically lovely moments. One of my favourites is when Lumiere is giving advice to the Beast on wooing Belle when she enters the room. Lumiere] (Whispering) Say something about her dress. Beast] (To Belle) It's pink.