When writing goes bad...

“So here we are at the mall. Again. I have been having a lot of feelings lately,” the main character remarked in an artlessly unsubtle way to make her appear sympathetic so the target readers would be compelled to relate to her. She strolled through the thick glass sliding doors of the mall with her friends as they embarked on what seemed to be yet another shopping excursion that was probably slowing down the dramatic tension and should have been omitted or dealt with far more quickly this late on in the book. “Gee, I have feelings too. It’s so tough to be a teenage girl. We have a lot of feelings and the adults in our lives don’t seem to understand us,” her good-looking and athletic friend agreed as good-looking and athletic people have problems too. “But feelings are an essential part of life. It would be worse if we didn’t have feelings at all, even if that did mean we wouldn’t have just spent over three chapters angsting about a boy,” said the quirky third friend who only showed up in scenes to say amusing things or to uncharacteristically speak words of wisdom and comfort. “AAAAARRRGGGHHHHHH,” screamed the author unable to take anymore of her depraved creations’ drivel. “Shut up or I’ll send in a psychopath with a machine gun to spray bullets throughout the whole stupid mall so that you finally stop your ceaseless whinging!” “You can’t do that,” the main character pointed out placing one hand on her hip in a cocky show of defiance. “This is meant to be a light teen romantic comedy aimed at young adults. A random act of violence like that would be completely unbelievable in the sugary world we live in.” “Besides, you still have to get us to the ball,” her best friend piped up. “That’s the climax of the book, right? Without that, there can be no resolution and then ultimately the book would be unsatisfying and without any developed themes.” “But I’m just so sick of your constant blabbing,” the author lamented wondering if this novel was just turning against her as a punishment for reading too many Sweet Valley High books in her youth. “Why don’t you ever just stop talking. I mean I only expected this scene to go for about six hundred words or so but it’s already over that and you haven’t even bought any of your stupid ball dresses yet. Arrgh, and I bet I’m going to have to describe what they look like. That will bloat this chapter out even further!” “Hey, it’s not our fault you can’t control your own dialogue,” the quirky third friend observed. “I mean, we just wanted to go shopping. No one said you had to come along and describe everything we do and say.” “Yeah,” agreed the main character. “I have had a pretty hard week thanks to the constant melodramatic and hackneyed action sequences you’ve put me through. Why can’t I just have some fun with my friends without it having to show some insight into my feelings? Why does everything I do have to lead to further character development? Just because you want to write a crummy coming-of-age story?” “All right, all right,” the author gave in. “You can all totter around being vapid and having fun for a while. I’m off to eat lunch any way. Just don’t leave the mall or realise anything too significant while I’m gone.” “Excellent!” the main character yelled and smiled at her friends. “Now we can swear and talk about non age-appropriate stuff like real teenagers rather than the goody-two-shoes imagining of a dried up English teacher.” Im not even going to bother punctuating my speech anymore and you cant stop me you lame literary hack said her best friend “Yeah, enjoy it while it lasts,” retorted the author. “Tomorrow morning it’s back to correct punctuation, proper speech and no expletives. I’ll have you all speaking concisely and showing insight beyond your years, and I’ll move the plot forward as well, just you wait.” “Who kares wot she finks anywayz?” said the quirky friend deliberately misspelling her speech out of spite. “2day we is goin 2 hav fun.” “OK, that’s it. I’m out of here,” the author sighed realising that for today the repugnant teenagers that had spawned from her lazy imagination had won the battle. “Yay!” chorused the three friends as they pulled out their cell phones and began texting each other so they didn’t have to contribute to any further dialogue.

Pulling-up power

Dominic is now preferring to spend as much of his days as possible on two legs rather than four. He likes to pull up on furniture and be read his books whilst standing up (well, leaning really, he doesn't have the balance to stand on his own).

Of course this also means he can get himself into lots more mischievous fun. Placing cameras or other breakable objects out of reach is now a lot more difficult.

Unfortunately I stupidly left my laptop on the lazyboy chair this morning. He now has a new favourite toy...






And when Mum puts his laptop away, he has to then help himself to some more conventional baby toys from his toy box. My dreams of a tidy floor where only a couple of toys are out at a time are pretty much over now.

The joys of blowdrying

Dominic demonstrates his cool punk hairdo that can only be achieved with a good blast from a hairdryer. Of course there is nothing Dominic likes better than a good hairdrying after his shower or bath.



A profile to show off the mohawk.



With a rebel yell, he cried more, more, more.

Some 9 month photos

I took some photos of Dominic on his 9 month birthday as I was unaware that Matt had already taken the traditional monster/Dom line-up for size comparison photo. It turns out the process is slightly more tricky than it used to be.

Phase 1 - Dominic lies next to monster where you placed him and figures out what you're trying to do. Duration: approx. 3 seconds.


Phase 2 - Dominic rolls onto his side to grab monster. Duration: 5-6 seconds.


Phase 3 - Photo shoot is turned into a game of monster peekaboo. Duration: many minutes of peekaboo giggly fun.


So then I decided to try to get a picture of him reading his 'That's not my monkey' book. He likes it when you make the loud 'ook, ook' noise for the ticklish monkey. However, cameras are distracting and I only got one shot before he grabbed the camera.


Also we got a cool new baby backpack for carrying him around in as he has outgrown his frontpack. Dominic really seemed to like it if you bounce around or run with hm in the backpack, and he is learning to kick his heels around to encourage you to go faster like a good little horserider. As long as we don't get him any spurs, it should be fine.

Dom's new robe

Dominic has a nice new warm robe with a cute hood. It's hard to say whether it makes him most resemble Hugh Hefner, a little green Jawa or a member of a cult of some weird dinosaur worshippers. You decide...

Dominic Photos

Dominic now likes pulling up on all sorts of things. He seems particularly fascinated with the laundry basket. How long until I can train him to hang out the washing for me?



His top three teeth are getting bigger every day. They are still quite spaced out though as they aren't all the way down yet. It gives him quite a Gollum look when he grins or opens in mouth widely.


(Gollum not Dominic demonstrates the 'Ouch, we hates teething' look.)

I tried to take a photo of Dominic with his mouth open but he saw the camera and lunged at it to have a chomp. Here is the resulting picture: