Desperately seeking comments

Astute readers of this blog will have noticed my recent blatant attempts to get more comments. Like the desperate, attention-seeking blogger I am, I have resorted to bribery (sadly, few people were tempted by the promise of unicorns though) and even blackmail. Ransoming the final part of the story was the more successful of the two tactics, resulting in the prompt arrival of 5 comments (which may in fact be an all time high for the blog). I would like to graciously thank all of my wonderful commenters (and my Mum who said that she liked my story over the phone which I'm counting as a sixth comment). You are all lovely people and deserve much praise. However, a mind such as mine cannot drift along in reflective gratitude for what I have received before I start scheming and hatching plans to seek out more comments. My latest method: insincere controversy. A quick survey over various blogs and LJs reveals that an effective strategy to attract comments is to make some shocking statement that your readers will violently disagree with and be forced to argue at length with you in the comment section. (Other strategies seem to involve providing thought-provoking content of interest for your readers but I'm way too lazy for that). My first attempt. The controversial statement about a current political issue. Here goes: I'm voting 'no' in the referendum. As a caring mother, I believe I must smack my child regularly as part of good parenting. How else will I prevent him from growing up to be an atheist, homosexual, drug-addicted criminal who will be joining a gang and tagging my rightful property by the the time he's twelve. No nanny-state, PC gone mad government can tell me how to raise my child etc. etc. And in case that's not enough, I'll add some insincere controversy about a popular graphic novel. Watchmen the film was a FLAWLESS masterpiece and was a million times BETTER than the graphic novel... Hmm, maybe that's not inflammatory enough... Watchmen the film was a FLAWLESS masterpiece and was a million times BETTER than the graphic novel which SUCKED! Heh, hopefully that's got some of you thumping your keyboards in mouth-foaming rage.