A lollipop is to a student what a carrot is to a donkey...

 My senior students start their exams on Thursday this week. Last week I was impressed with how focussed and hard-working they appeared to be. They were asking questions about the exams, checking their notes, doing homework and actually working hard in class.

This week all that has changed.

My year 11 class yesterday were like crazy hyperactive monkey-people. I tried being all stern and talking about the seriousness of exams and how they needed to study hard but had little success. They claimed that exams were only practice ones and didn't count. Apparently they had only just figured that out because they seemed worried about them last week.

I then explained that they needed to do well in case they became very sick or had an accident at the end of year exam time and would have to apply for an aegrotat pass.

They then giggled for 10 minutes because apparently the word "aegrotat" sounds funny.

My year 12 students this morning were similarly lazy and blithely gossiped and drew pictures rather than getting on with the work they had been given.

I asked them what would actually motivate them to start studying seeing as getting qualifications and passing their exams clearly wasn't enough of an incentive.

"Lollipops," one student replied.

The other students agreed.

"OK," I said. "If you start working, I'll give you a lollipop at the end of the lesson."

"Do we get to choose our own colour lollipop?" one student asked. "I only like the red ones."

"Yes," I answered. "You may choose whichever colour you want."

After a brief discussion about the best brand/colour of lollipops the students settled and started working. At the end of the lesson most of them handed in a practice essay and received a lollipop (of their own choice) for their efforts.

"Y'know, Miss, I'd probably get an Excellence if you gave me a Starburst lollipop," one commented as he settled for his cheap Allens brand lollipop and left.

I now have visions of walking down the city streets in 10 years time and seeing former students jobless and destitute due to their lack of education.

They will have a cardboard sign hung about their necks reading, "will write essays for lollipops," only with incorrect spelling.

Fast-forward Friday

 Friday morning. It seems to be slowing down. In my enthusiasm for the weekend and desire for the weekend to come around, I was actually early to staff meeting this morning.

I am seldom early to staff meeting. Generally I rush around doing last minute photocopying, writing notes on the board or guzzling coffee.

Today I had nothing to do but sit and wait. Boring stuff really. There was not even a newspaper lying around and I couldn’t be bothered going back for to my room for a book to read.

I just sat there in a trance and waited.

It probably says something about my punctuality that I have not really experienced waiting around with nothing to do this year until late August.

I had always imagined that it would be pleasant to have a few moments to quietly reflect on things and rest but I found it unpleasant. I was at work. To my mind, work is not a place for peaceful contemplation. It is a place to run around madly, get things done as quickly as possible so that you leave and go home with as little as possible to do at the end of the day.<!--[endif]-->

I am unaccustomed to not working at work. Actually that is not true. I am uncustomed to not being busy and rushing around doing things at work.

I must say the experience of sitting around jittery from the morning caffeination with nothing to do was not pleasant. All I wanted was to have a giant fast-forward button to speed up time and get the day started so the weekend would come sooner.

I shan’t bother being early again. Clearly there is a logical reason for my usual tardiness – it makes the day go by faster.

I can make it on my own...

 I recently watched a movie Beyond Borders which is essentially a love story set against the backdrop of the relief work done at various times and places when some of the worst atrocities were happening. It was good but depressing on many levels.

Firstly, the ending was really rather sad despite me feeling quite confident that it would be smurfy and lovely. I suppose it is pretty difficult to make a chirpy movie about people starving and dieing from disease or war, but I kind of thought that it would end in a romantically happy way. However, I'd best stop before I spoil the plot completely.

The second depressing factor was the whole “what am I doing with my life” angst it seemed to induce. To allude to a recent Strong Bad email (crying) this movie was the equivalent of the one-legged puppy, Little Brudder, saying, “I can make it on my own”.

There is nothing quite as heart-wrenching as people (or cute drawn puppies) being brave and noble in the face of adversity. It made me feel ignoble, selfish and shallow. I really don’t do much to help the suffering masses and whilst I’m aware of the terrible violations of human rights and tragic situations that many people are forced into, I generally spend more time thinking about what I’m going to have for dinner than how I can make the world a better place.

The really bad thing is that after watching a movie which once again reminded me of how ridiculously comfortable and easy my life is compared to some, I didn’t instinctively want to run out and volunteer to do relief work or give generously to some worthwhile charities. Rather I just had the inclination to watch something about really shallow and nasty people so that I could feel comparatively good about myself.

So, any recommendations of movies or books about really mean and petty people to help alleviate my sense of guilt?

The Aftermath of the Storm

 I went up to Horokiwi to check on the horse yesterday and it was a disturbing and eventful trip. Horokiwi was hit hard by the stormy weather of last week. Power lines knocked down (I think they had no power for quite some time), huge pine trees blown over (sometimes breaking down fences with them) and several land slips. Just driving past all the destruction was like travelling through a post-apocalypse town (after a relatively small apocalypse).

About halfway up the hill I noticed a flash of bright blue and silver bumper off the side of the road. For those of you unacquainted with the topography of Horokiwi, the main road is narrow and winding. On one side of the road is the wall of the hill with bits of land that seem to crumple onto the road, and on the other side is a sheer drop above the quarry. We stopped the car to get out and see what was down there and it was a car which had driven off the side of the road. The car was completely vertical about 10 metres below the road and the only thing that prevented it from descending further was a lip in the hill with several trees that the car was crashed into. Fortunately no one was in the car. The doors were open and there were footprints of people who had clambered out and climbed up to the road but it was an unnerving sight. It is disturbing to think that if you have to swerve or you slide off the road, you have nowhere to go but over the edge of a huge hill.

The second alarming event happened only about 1/2 km up the road. We continued driving up only to being faced with a mare and her foal standing in the middle of the road. I got out with carrots and halter and lead-rope but they were pretty freaked. The foal was lame but when the mare panicked and took off up a driveway, it managed to hobble after her. (I say hobble but this was impressively swift hobbling - faster than I could run at any rate). After a great deal of running around and bribing horsies with carrots, we managed to get them shut in a small paddock off the side of the road and phoned up the owner. Horsies are safe now - hopefully.

I just hope there are not too many more storms like that again soon.

Oh what a beautiful day...

 There is nothing like a calm and relatively sunny day after the howlingly windy and stormy days we have had recently. So peaceful. The birdies are out singing, everyone looks and seems so relieved and cheerful.

School, as with the weather, has returned to its (mostly) peaceful self. All students and teachers seem to actually be present and not in any way trapped in buses or trains somewhere. It is comforting. While change to something new is good, a change back to normal can be better.

I'm eagerly awaiting the weekend which hopefully will be sunny and relaxing.

The Wheels on the bus...

 Today I was one of the happy few who got the dubious privilege of being a supervising teacher of the Year 11s as they went to Careers Expo in Wellington. Generally I consider any day where I get paid to do something other than teaching is a blessing but there were moments when I would have rather been back in the classroom.

However, the traffic was backed up and the bus trip was exceeding slow and took a long time. The students kept in good spirits though, thanks to an exceptionally tolerant bus driver who let them chose the radio station. They sang along enthusiastically with the radio and were pretty good. I must be out of touch because I was shocked when the radio station promotion advertised itself as "the radio station to masturbate to."

What I didn't realise was the lengths that many a Kapiti teenager will go to to escape a Careers Expo and roam about in Wellington. I guess some of them may not get down to the city all that often and the temptation to wander around town was just too great. The staff had anticipated some students choosing to leave the Expo early for the enticements of the city and as such had organised a 'guard the exit' roster. However, none of us counted on the students being quite so determined to escape their Careers Expo. I guess teachers guarding the exit just presented itself as a cool 'mission impossible' challenge.

Upon arrival the students headed into the Expo with enthusiasm and energy. I naively thought that they were both relieved to be off the bus and actually interested in seeing the Careers Expo. However, it seemed that they planned a system of casing the two floors for the stands that gave away free stuff and they ran around mooching all the free goodies with surprising efficiency and alacrity. Within 15 minutes, they were back down at the entrance loaded down with armfuls of bags filled with swag and asking to leave. When told they weren't allowed to leave and that they should go to a seminar and try to find out about careers, they grumbled but returned. Some of them passed on tactics on how to get the free stuff*.

Their thoughts then turned on how best to escape the Queens Wharf Event centre. At first they weren't that cunning. One or two tried to hide their uniforms by borrowing jackets from students from other schools but were recognised and sent back inside.

Then a couple of girls managed to convince one of the careers mascots (a guy wearing a bright yellow Teddy Bear suit) to go and group hug the teachers by the main entrance. They thought this would be a distraction. They were right. Very distracting. However, another teacher was coming back from a café and sent them back in. Foiled again.

I don't know if any students managed to escape. Several were missing when it was time to leave but appeared as the buses starting pulling out of the carpark. We got back to school with all the students and most of them on the correct bus. Unfortunately there was still one lesson left in the day as both students and teachers were tired. Students had seemed remarkably energetic and noisy on the bus but it seemed their energy deflated as they entered school again. It seems that schools magically drain vigour from students which is just as well as I don't think I could teach them if they were always that hyper.

I don't think I'll volunteer to supervise any trips again. I'm exhausted.

* Apparently the Accountants had worked out the students were just taking the flash key rings and chains without talking to anyone or taking brochures. They started a system whereby students had to ask an accounting question before they could take a key ring or chain. The accounting students quickly told the others how to pretend to be an accounting student.

Bonjour!

 International Languages Week has arrived and badly pronounced greetings of various countries are being enthusiastically called out around the school. Our school has designated certain languages to each day. Today is French day. Tres bien!

Even the canteen is advertising that “exotic food” is available in celebration of International Languages Week. I went along to check it out hoping for something better than their usual soggy sandwiches and under-fried hot chips.

This week is special. This week they have soggy croissants and dodgy-looking sushi. Bon appetite!

When am I ?

 I seem to be struggling with staying aware of things recently such as what the date is or even what day of the week it is. I was bitterly disappointed yesterday afternoon to discover that it was still only Monday. I had been convinced since lunchtime that it must be mid-week. I had that whole “I really need a weekend” feeling only 24 hours after the weekend! My tolerance for work is decreasing rapidly. I imagine that soon I shall start packing up to go home for the weekend about 10 minutes into my first Monday morning class.

My sixth formers had a Careers seminar yesterday. It was a presentation by StudyLink explaining who was eligible for Student Allowances and how long Student Loans take to repay at the minimum rate. Many of them were horrified by the cost of tertiary education and were rethinking their plans to go to University. They also complained bitterly about patronising cartoon they had to watch. I may be, relatively speaking, an old fogey but even I thought it was pretty lame. It had cartoon characters with spiky hair randomly saying “wassup” and “dude” in a vain attempt to appeal to hip teen youths. Needless to say it failed. Although the ‘hot’ girl (who was disturbingly voluptuous for a cartoon about Student Allowances) randomly got “the munchies” after explaining Student Loans but a dog appeared from nowhere and ate her sandwich. The students inferred that obviously the loan had been spent on drugs of some description.

I felt a bit sorry for the students after talking to them about careers. Most of them were really stressing about Student Loans and how hard it might be to get a job with a decent salary. Some of them were really pessimistic about the work force in general.

It’s sad that they feel like that when they are only 16-17. When I was that age I thought working would be fantastic. I wanted to go to university and get a job and earn money. I thought it would be fun. I had enthusiasm for the whole process of growing up.

Now that I am working, paying bills and getting up in the mornings keep be a real drudge but it is not that bad.

It is sad that teenagers today think that their futures are depressing. I think that you have to be naïvely unaware of the possible disappointments of adult life so that you can enjoy your teenage years. Being a university student was a fantastic experience but some students are considering not going to university because of their fear of debt and possible failure.

I think there is so much doom-and-gloom out there that as a society we are creating a youth culture of pessimism and hopelessness. I think parents, teachers and the media overemphasise the seriousness and negative consequences of things a little too much and we have made some students too cautious to take risks.

They are so aware of divorce and nasty relationship break-ups that they don’t want to be in long-term committed relationships. They have heard so much about Student debt that they are scared of tertiary education. They think most jobs are unsatisfactory and have no security, so they are too afraid to have ambitions.

I tried to be the fairy of perkiness yesterday. “University is great, you can repay student loans quickly by going to countries with high-paying jobs and ridiculously low income tax, you will all be fine and do well in your chosen careers.”

When the cat's away, the mice will have coffee...

 Well, it has a certainly been a good start to the morning for me. Wednesday mornings are PD (Professional Development days) at my school. This means an early start for teachers but the students do not come to school until 10.20am. This gives staff a couple of hours to do the dreaded developing professionally – usually some sort of ICT or literacy (meaning how to teach literacy, most teachers do not actually need help with their own reading skills) course which tends to give me TCOL flashbacks. Sometimes it is interesting but generally not interesting enough to stop my mind from wandering off and bitterly lamenting the fact that I am cold and woefully under-caffeinated, and that I have planning and marking stuff that I would rather being doing.

Last week I actually had to present a seminar to the staff (the price of being a last minute replacement to go to a Habits of Mind conference last term). I flatter myself that it was more interesting than most but it was vaguely terrifying for me. I really don’t enjoy speaking to grown-ups – largely because I don’t consider myself one of them. They are scary.
However, this week’s Wednesday morning fun was scheduled to be Departmental NCEA meetings (joy). Fate, however, is sometimes kind. There was also some big Head of Department conference on today leaving only the young English teachers (2 first year teachers, a second year and a third year teacher) in charge of the meeting.

Naturally, we did the sensible thing and snuck out of school to a nearby café. Unfortunately the HODs had thought ahead enough to hide the department chequebook so we couldn’t go shopping for DVDs for the English departments new DVD player (curses!).

Sunny Sunday

 Joy and rapture. A Sunday that is actually Sunny. Could this be a sign that winter may be coming to its end? The days are lengthening and the lino on the bathroom does not feel so stingy and icy-cold in the mornings.

The cat enjoyed (and is still enjoying) a long nap in the sunshine on our bed. Cats lolling in the sun look nearly as comfy as cats snuggled up next to a fire or heater. There is something tremendously comforting about observing a feline lying around purring contentedly.

With Spring just around the corner, there are several things I'm looking forward to:
1.  A classroom that is not freezing cold first thing in the morning.
2.  Flowers and whatnot blooming, and I shall discover whether or not I get hay-fever when living near the sea as opposed to entirely surrounded by pines and various plant-life of an allergy-inducing nature.
3.  Delicious spring/summer fruits shall become readily available.
4.  Not getting the flu or nasty lose-your-voice illnesses.
5.  Going out for walks and not requiring scarves, gloves, hoods/hats etc.
6.  Eating ice-cream in the sunshine.
7.  It won't be dark when it is time to get up. Getting up for work seems more civilised when you don't appear to be dragging yourself out of bed before sunrise.
8.  Sitting outside in the sun and reading.
9.  Having picnics or lunches outside.
10.  Getting closer to the summer holidays!